


I Need You

by TiredBisexual



Category: Barisi - Fandom, Law & Order: SVU
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 15:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13906596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiredBisexual/pseuds/TiredBisexual
Summary: Imagine if Barba was there to help Sonny through his niece's trial.Might be some spoilers from 19x15.





	1. Chapter 1

**I Need You**

 

 

"Youre in my seat", Sonny looked up to see Barba looking down at him, Sonny smiled at him. " Sorry, ill move" Sonny said, Rafael moved closer to him, putting his hand on Sonny's shoulder and said " I'm joking Carisi, its fine". " Wow Rafael Barba making a joke, whats the world coming to?" Sonny replied sarcastically.

They sat in silence for a while, just sipping their drinks silently. Rafael was the one who spoke first " We're gonna get this kid Carisi, i promise you" Rafael put his hand on Sonny's face, " Look at me, I promise you". Rafael wished he could kiss him, but god if it wasnt bad timing. Sonny looked at him, with his beautiful eyes and said " I cant, I cant do this Rafael" Sonny got out of his seat and run to the toilet. Rafael run after him, he couldn't let him go through this alone. Rafael knocked on the door " Sonny, Please come out", Sonny opened the door wiping his tears. " 3 years, 3 years we've worked together and you choose this moment to finally call me Sonny", Rafael chuckled " Better late than never ey?". Sonny walked over and rested against the sink next to Rafael " Im trying so hard to keep it together, to be strong for my family, to do my job right but its so hard" Sonny broke down again, Rafael hugged him and held him tight. 

 

Sonny looked into Rafael's eyes as they broke away from their hug, he wanted to kiss him, kiss him and never stop but he couldn't do that in the men's toilets of some grotty bar, Barba deserved better than that, deserved better than him. " You're strong, you're a good man and You're a good cop, don't forget that" Barba said, gently caressing Sonny's face. Stuff it Sonny thought, he leaned in, he kissed him and all Sonny could think of was how he should have done this sooner but then he realised that Barba was pushing him away . " I can't, Sonny not like this" and he was out the door and Sonny was left alone. He couldn't stop himself from crying now.

 

" Guilty" That's all Sonny heard, he held his niece, he held his sister. He looked at Barba, he smiled at him and Barba smiled back. They hadn't really spoke since that day, the day they kissed..  They had only spoke when it was needed, only about the trial. Sonny couldn't stop thinking about it, replaying it over and over again in his head. He missed him and he hoped Rafael missed him too.

Rafael did miss Sonny, he wanted to explain, he wanted Sonny, wanted to be with him but Sonny didn't want him, not really. How could he? Sonny was kind, caring, pure and so beautiful, where as Rafael was the opposite. He didn't feel enough for Sonny and he hated that feeling.

 

He didn't know how he turned up here but here Rafael was, at Sonny's door. He took a deep breath before knocking. " Did you forget somethin.. Barba, Hey" Sonny said as he opened the door. Rafael walked past him, ready to say the speech he's been preparing in his head. " I want you, Sonny, i've wanted you for 3 years. All i wanted to was hold you and kiss you but it wasn't the right time. You needed to focus on your family, your niece was raped Sonny, you weren't in the right frame of mind, you don't want me, not really Sonny. I'm no good for you"

Sonny was shocked, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, how could Rafael think he wasn't good enough?. Sonny walked closer to him, he held his cheek and lifted his head and he kissed him, he finally kissed him. Rafael kissed him back this time, he held onto the younger man tight. 

When they pulled apart, Sonny laughed, even though Rafael was very confused as to why Sonny was laughing, he was relieved to hear Sonny laugh. " Rafael, you are a good man, one of the best men i know, you are hard working, protective and loyal and not to mention fucking gorgeous" Rafael laughed at that comment, Sonny continued " I've wanted YOU for 3 years, i never thought you'd go for a cop like me". " A cop and a lawyer" Rafael corrected. Sonny laughed " a cop and a lawyer, yes"  and he kissed him again.

"Forgive me for ruining the mood but what the hell happens now?" Rafael asked. Sonny looked at him, " You could stay if you want... nothing has to happen I just... don't want to be alone". Rafael hesitated " Sonny i don't think  that'ts a good idea.." " Please, I need you" Sonny begged. Rafael smiled up at the younger man. 

 

Sonny couldn't get his head around the fact that Rafael Barba was here, in his apartment, holding him and they watched some reality tv show. Things might have been tough recently but things were going to be okay, especially with Barba having his arms around his waist and kiss his forehead so gently. Yes things will definitely be okay, Sonny thought, with a big smile on his face. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny and Rafael decide to come clean to their friends and tell them about their relationship.  
> How will the squad react?

It had been a couple of months since Sonny and Rafael started seeing each other, it had been hard keeping it a secret from the squad. Their families knew, Sonny's mother knew, he had been acting differently and she eventually got it out of him. Rafael's mother caught them in Rafael's apartment one day, he knew he shouldnt have given her a key. Both of their families had accepted their relationship but the squad was different, they spent more time with them than their own families so they were both nervous.

Sonny had tried many times to tell Amanda he was with Barba but every time he shrugged it off " Oh never mind it doesnt matter" Sonny would say. Rafael tried to tell Liv but he could just imagine her face when he told her that he was seeing one of her detectives, Rafael Barba was a scaredy cat, especially when it came to Olivia Benson. Sonny even thought about telling Fin but they werent really buddies so that would be a bit weird so Sonny decided against that.

The thing is, the squad knew, of course they did. They figured it out two days after Sonny's niece's trial, when Barba walked into the squad room with a smile on his face. That was weird enough but then Sonny came in after Barba whistling and then they figured it out. They decided to not let them now they knew, there was best with the rest of the squad as to how long it will be before Barba & Sonny disclosure their relationship.

Amanda would ask Sonny questions about if he was seeing someone, Sonny would just blush and try to get his words out but nothing would come out and Amanda gave up in the end. Liv asked Rafael why he was so happy recently, Rafael would always reply with a sarcastic joke. Even Fin had tried, he wanted to win that bet and he was fed up of the two of them dancing around each other, trying to be subtle when they really really weren't. 

The bet seemed to be off one day after the squad heard Sonny & Rafael arguing in Rafael's office. " This doesnt sound good" Amanda said. After what felt like forever, the shouting stopped " i think we're good" Fin said shrugging his shoulders. Liv nodded her head and went to open the door. She wasnt expecting to see, Sonny and Rafael kissing each other as she opened the door. " Oh jesus, really guys?" Amanda said shielding her eyes.   
Guess it was time to come clean  
"umm.. Guys we have something to tell you.." Rafael started. The squad looked at each other, oh they have been waiting for this. " Oh? okay, go on" Liv said, trying to be as serious as she could. " Look, me and Rafael, we've been seeing each other, romantically" Sonny said, not taking his eyes off the floor. " I think they know that Sonny" Rafael muttered. Sonny took his eyes off the floor, giving Rafael a quick glare. "This wasnt a one time thing.. its been going on a couple of months" Sonny added. The room was silent for a while, Sonny & Rafael braced themselves. 

The room erupted into laughter " We know!" They all said in unison, Sonny and Rafael both let out a sigh they didnt know they were holding.   
"Come on guys, we're detectives" Amanda said, " yeah and you guys really aren't subtle" Fin added. " no need to worry, we love you guys, we accept you guys. Just as long as it doesn't get in the way of your work, we have no problems" Liv said, her voice was serious. Sonny nodded his head " absolutely boss". Rafael looked at him, he loved this man so much. " Well thank god that's over can we go back to work now?" Rafael said. Everyone laughed and turned their attention to their case. 

After a long day of work, they were in a bar having a well earned drink. "Oh let Fin get these" Amanda winked, Fin groaned " Didnt think you were being serious!" Sonny and Rafael were very confused," care to explain?" Rafael said, " Oh my god, no way, are you kidding me?!" Sonny exclaimed, now Rafael was even more confused " Raf, they've been betting on us, how long it would take for us to come clean about us" Sonny explained. Rafael's eyes widened " You what?!". Liv, Amanda & Fin all starting laughing, " I said it would take a month" Amanda said " I thought it would be like 4 months before Rafael would admit to his relationship with you Sonny" Liv admitted. " Well it looks like i dont know you guys well enough, cos i said 2 weeks" Fin said, his head hung in shame. Everyone laughed, poor Fin. " Well, come on everyone knew about Carisi's feeling for the counsellor!, i thought he'd be bursting to tell everyone" Fin said. " He's not wrong" Sonny said "I was, i wanted to tell you all, we both did, we just didnt know how". 

Sonny & Rafael could finally relax, their relationship is out there, everyone knew and they had been accepted by everyone they love. Life was good. They were happy.


End file.
